Thursday, June 30, 2011

sale away!

last weekend was full of nifty surprises at the family garage sale (first and last ever!). i'm happy to share a few of the interesting treasures we came across  (this account may evolve over a series of posts!)...if not for papaG and his hardworking bro and sis (as well as a little help from the universe) many of these spirited (and spirit filled!) objects would still be living in their parent's crawlspace.

many (many many many) things, and sweetly stored memories were brought to light. 
instagram has nothing on the joy that can be felt when a truly faded  memory is given new life.

it was hard to stop taking photos! but sadly, the day had to come to an end.
collections of former loves (literally) were packed into the family van for the next leg of their journey,
in hopes that some might find new stories in other homes, be held by other loving hands,
to be remembered again and again.
bon voyage!

Monday, June 27, 2011


i miss this.

changes abound. she is getting to know her place in the world. and as of very recently, it means i have to begin thinking about letting go. what that means.  
so so tough.

Saturday, June 25, 2011

i drove. i cried.

i want you to hear this song. though if you hear this song you may cry as i did when i heard it for the first time this morning on the radio on a drive into the suburbs, kleo sound asleep, in reverie. i don't know why it moved me so quickly...yet gently. yes, a good morning song it was, even if it hurt. even if i cried, it was a cry i needed to feel today. and what i felt was not unlike mixed up sensations of nostalgia and love and grief and knowing of something greater looking over me, over us. 
grateful kind of tears rolled down my face.

 i searched for the song so that you could hear it and found only its quiet, lovely lyrics. 
and now, imagine the tender voice and the acoustic guitar. the unassuming piano chords playing
just as i passed the lake i grew up watching, walking into and out of, 
the childhood i always love and miss.

here is the story behind the song.

a simple song of sorrow
- for Dereen Hildebrand. she made a difference. she is missed -
(c) steve slade (socan)
from the red CD: flying into inuvik
If i could sing a simple song of sorrow
I would speak your name into the wind
Then I'd sit and watch the mist burn off the valley
And wish that you were here with me again
If I could sing a simple song of sorrow
I'd sit and watch the sun rise and set
Then the moon would come and rest upon my shoulder
And I'd remember all the things I can't forget
And I'd remember all the things I never told you
And I wish I'd said I love you one more time
So I'll say it with this simple song of sorrow
That I'm singing in this not so simple time
And if I could sing a simple song of sorrow
I would write your name on every window pane
Then I'd stand there and watch you smilin' at me
And believe that you are here with me again
So I'd like to sing this simple song of sorrow
I will sing your name into the wind
And then I'll sit and watch the mist burn off the valley
And pretend that you are here with me again
How I wish that you were here with me again.

Friday, June 24, 2011

sure sure

i am officially obsessed with changing my surname. night and day i run through possibilities in my mind. it's awful, but a good sleep tonic. before kleo was born i had put together all the paperwork. i had picked a suitable name. so i thought. but i wimped out. 
i don't really want the name i thought i wanted any more.
i still have his name and i really don't know why. i don't know why i can't just choose any old name.  
any old name i feels better that what i currently have attached to myself.
maybe i could be (first name) any old name.
i honestly can't stop thinking about this and i have decided that i will file the paperwork on my birthday, which is just right around the corner. so close, i can smell dinner cooking.
i say this now. i have said as much for the past fifteen years.

tea time. sleep. be well.