what do you do when it feels like the world around is closing in a bit too tightly...when the need for a small escape seems so necessary for rejuvenation, but also a little frightening? that's how i've felt the past few days. it's why i can't quite find the words to write. it's why, i think, my body is giving out on me this week (and googling my symptoms just worries me more). and the weird dreams are back. all sorts of strangeness keeps me tossing and turning.
i know what's going on. stress is a huge culprit and too much of it has crept into my life and heart this week. and i have to forgive myself for letting it consume more than it's share of my joy.
so, i'll just have to force myself say buh-buh to it. that's exactly what it deserves to hear.
on a happier and much cuter note!! klee (who is 8.5 months old now) is showing us the art of sharing, which amuses us to no end. it's an incredible delight to watch your baby realize how she can bring someone else (or something else, like our kitty cyan, or her favourite stuffed toys) pleasure through giving. i think that for myself, this newest development is teaching me all the more about the depth and goodness of the human spirit- how, not matter the pain and cruelty we may be capable of and even bestow on one another or the world we inhabit, there is a strong chance that we know better and have always known better.
maybe it's not enough to base my perspective on watching the sweet smile grace klee's face when she passes me sophie the giraffe...maybe her genorsity is more selfish than selfless, but i have to believe otherwise: to me, she is still part of a world that is not characterized by polarized concepts of good/bad and more/less.
she knows better.
and, she shows me what i am capable of knowing, and always have been.
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